I seemed to have everything going right. On the surface I was a happy 18-year-old kid who seemed to have it all together. I started a new job in the city with my uncle, just met my beautiful future wife, and really didn’t have any real responsibilities to speak of. But for some reason every once in a while I would just break down in tears out of no where. And I couldn’t really explain why. One day when my mom asked me how I was doing, I just started balling my eyes out and I told her how I really felt.
This wasn’t the first time that my mom had seen someone in this state. My father and my oldest brother had both been diagnosed with type II Bipolar disorder and had been taking medication to relieve the symptoms. The next week we scheduled an appointment with our family doctor and he suggested that I too had type II bipolar disorder and prescribed me the same medication as my oldest brother.
After about a month I started to notice that I didn’t have such drastic mood swings. When people asked me how I was doing I could actually say … okay. Because I was. I wasn’t feeling amazing, but I was feeling okay. The medication I was on eliminated the mood swings and gave me a very stable, but somewhat monotone existence. If something amazing happened, I would say, “that’s nice”. If something terrible happened, I would say, “that’s too bad”. Although I wouldn’t cry for no reason, my life was lacking emotion. The medication also gave me a kind of brain fog where it was hard to remember things and they also made me constantly drowsy.
One day I started to talk with my oldest brother about how I was feeling and he explained how, in addition to taking his medication, he was also doing other things to improve his mood. He had switched to the GAPS diet, was exercising more, and he was taking supplements in addition to his medication to improve his mood. So with the advice of my brother and the support of my doctor, I too changed my diet and started to use a supplement called Tue Hope, as well as some other supplements to improve my digestive health and I focused on exercising on a more regular basis. It is now 2 years later and I have been weened off of my medication and I haven’t looked back since.
I still have my good days and my not so good days, but I haven’t cried for no reason since that day that I told my mom of my situation. After looking back at the last 10 years and taking part in the Commit Life challenge, I can confidently say that the best way that anyone in my situation can commit life would be to tell their close friends and family how they feel.
There is no better way to improve your situation, especially when in a depressed state, than telling someone else so that they can support you.